Recently I got the threat of going to an inpatient clinic turned very real. But. there. is. no. way. i. am. going. The minimum stay is 6 weeks, so i would most likely have to re do the college year. It would literally throw my whole life out of sinc. I have told my mum that if i do go it will be a section beacuse i just cannot allow myself to go willingly.
The good thing about having this threat is that it forced me to admit to everyone that i have always been lying about what i eat, been deceitful and hiding things. That meant that i am always watched when i eat now so i have no choice but to eat it. So the weight is finally going on and i am eating so much more. But the threat remains even though i have turned it around. I still have to go there for a consultation even though i am different now and i do not need to go in. It is frustrating but there is nothing i can do but stick to the meal plan.
Sophie x
