Illustrated Explanation - Choice

This is a really interesting video. It is mainly about politics, but as it I was watching it i made quite a few comparisons and parallels with eating disorders, and then within the last few minutes they addressed them directly. 


I know much of the video is irrelevant, i found even those bits interesting regardless. I definitely think it is worth watching. I also enjoy the other illustrated videos the channel has done.. They are interesting to look at and explain topics well.


Sophie x  

Waiting for Food

In the book To Kill A Mocking Bird by Harper Lee. The children have to go into this old lady's house and read to her. She is called Ms Dubose. The children have to read to her until an alarm rings and ten they can leave. **Slight Spoiler** The bell gets later and later. They then find out that she had a morphine addiction and when the bell went she could have some **End Of Spoiler**


This reminds me of myself, but with food. In order to feel in control of my eating, even if i dont have control of what i am eating, i keep set times of when i can eat each thing on my meal plan. I will tell everyone that i hate food, and i do, but i hate it because i love it. I actually look forward to these times most times. I will stare at my watch until it gets to the exact number. Then i know that i can eat. However, usually i wont, i try to make myself wait as long as possible. I think it is only to show myself that i am still in control and i can still resist food. I know ho silly that sounds.


The times which i do eat, are often quite late. The other day i thought, im going to move everything after dinner back half an hour. But when i came to the new time to eat, i didnt, i let it tick on until the normal time. I thought that i just couldnt resist if i made it earlier and convinced myself that that was the unconscious reason i had decided to eat earlier.


... Normality seems so far away at the moment


Sophie x

Addiction

Yesterday, I started a new case study in my AS Psychology course. The case study is about people addicted to gambling. As part of the background information, we had to learn the definition of and addiction, and its components. I have heard people say that anorexia is an addiction before, but i never understood that until now.

Addiction: A behavioral pattern characterised by compulsion, loss of control and continued repetition of a behavior or activity in spite of adverse consequences.

It fits perfectly. It is a behavioral pattern. The compulsion is not to eat. I have completely lost control (dispite thinking i had ultimate control), and even though i may not be able to have children, my hair is falling out, my heart and bones may be weak and i look horrible i still cannot break it.

Components:

Salience: Food is the most important thing to me, and it is always on my mind. (e.g. watching cookery shows, reading recipies etc.)
Euphoria: When i do eat alot of food (i.e. going out for a meal and being forced too eat lots, maybe even a pudding). I do get a rush of energy. At the same time, if i decline food dispite wanting it, i also get a rush - a sense of achievement.
Tolerance: This component does not fit aswell, exept that i became able to resist food more and more.
Conflict: I think this one fits best. I often engage in conflicts with family members and cause social misery. Moreover, i am also in constant conflict with myself.
Withdrawl Symptons: When a ritual or rule is broken, i become very distressed and shake or cry or rock.
Relapse: This one is quite scary, we learned that even if people shake their addictive behavior, it is easy to fall back. And it is true, many anorexics do relapse.

This is what we learned about addiction, and it can all be applied to anorexia in my opinion.

Sophie x