Something Embarrassing

Today, i thought i would share something i just remembered had happened to me. Its really quite embarrassing but i think the best way to deal with it is to share it and laugh at it!

I remember getting home from college, having eaten very little if not nothing and trying to convince myself i wasnt hungry. I needed to feed my cat, so i opened a sache of that disgusting, wet, smelly, meaty cat food. And i realised that it was actually extremely appealing and i wanted to eat it! (despite being vegetarian also) I was so hungry that even the most disgusting thing my body wanted to eat. Haha at me. How embarrassing!

Sophie x

P.S. dont worry, i didnt eat it.

P.P.S. I noticed the other day that my cat's treat pouch said '3 calories per treat' on it, so even cats are counting calories now? society is messed up!

General Update 2

Hrmm... Im really not feeling great today. Only they way to college today i didnt look for cars, and when i got to the otherside i realised i was diappointed because i had been hoping to get hit.

Here in England we had a 4 day weekend due to the royal wedding and i went to 2 parties. The pictures got uploaded to facebook yesterday and looking at them hurts so much. I dont want to look like this anymore, i hate it. I look disgusting and all my friends look amazing. Its embarrassing. It should be easy, my skinnyness is the main reason for me looking so hiddiousm so why dont i just eat loads? For some reason i just wont. Why dont i go downstaires and grab a chocolate dohnut or 2? Its so irritating not understanding myself, all i know is there is no way i would eat any of a chocolate dohnut right now.


One of the parties i went to was a friends birthday party. Everyone ate cake... except me. And yet they all looked great and i looked horrible. Why didnt i eat some? It was my friends birthday cake! Its not like ill get addicted to eating it and not be able to go a day without it, its not a friends birthday everyday. UGH im so annoying.

I cant wait to get normal. I hope i get there soon or it might be too late.


Sophie x

Reverse Thinspo

I find this so weird. And i only found out it existed about 2 months ago. The other pictures on the sites i found were too mean to put up. I think its so horrible showing fat people unhappy and teased in order to be encourage people to be anorexic. 

It just seems so cruel. The other pictures are of fat people unable to do up their trousers, wearing skimpy underwear, holding their bellies etc. Its completely exaggerated.

Its ridiculous actually! For example, the picture below, obviously none of those girls are anorexic, they are just normal. So if the'fat' girl looked like them, she wouldnt be super skinny. And anyone who is just a bit overweight or normal weight wont be as fat as some of the pictures. Basically, i think reverse thinspo might work on the people who look like the 'fat' people. But the alot of people start at normal or even slightly under wieght before they develop an eating disorder. Long story short, its just stupid and mean... And it makes me angry!

Sophie x

Veins

Where I live, its really hot at the moment. I got out of the shower yeaterday and i think it was beacuse of the heat but all the veins in my arms were sticking out. It looked horrible and freaky. Its not the first time its happened either, its happened at a concert and a few times at college. Its so embarrassing and the only thing i can do about it is cover them up with a jacket which isnt ideal if its really hot. I have also noticed veins sticking out on my legs, i hate it.

Those are some pictures i took, theyre pretty rank, and thats when theyd gone down a bit.

Sophie x