General Update 2

Hrmm... Im really not feeling great today. Only they way to college today i didnt look for cars, and when i got to the otherside i realised i was diappointed because i had been hoping to get hit.

Here in England we had a 4 day weekend due to the royal wedding and i went to 2 parties. The pictures got uploaded to facebook yesterday and looking at them hurts so much. I dont want to look like this anymore, i hate it. I look disgusting and all my friends look amazing. Its embarrassing. It should be easy, my skinnyness is the main reason for me looking so hiddiousm so why dont i just eat loads? For some reason i just wont. Why dont i go downstaires and grab a chocolate dohnut or 2? Its so irritating not understanding myself, all i know is there is no way i would eat any of a chocolate dohnut right now.


One of the parties i went to was a friends birthday party. Everyone ate cake... except me. And yet they all looked great and i looked horrible. Why didnt i eat some? It was my friends birthday cake! Its not like ill get addicted to eating it and not be able to go a day without it, its not a friends birthday everyday. UGH im so annoying.

I cant wait to get normal. I hope i get there soon or it might be too late.


Sophie x