Peer Pressure

So yesterday i went to the park with my friends. I bought my usual un adventurous lunch, and my friends got theirs. They also got a big pack of biscuits.

I got offered one and refused many times. I kept getting the sideways head and disapproving look from my friend who had bought them, he constantly was shaking the pack at me too. But i kept just saying no. It was so sunny and the chocolate on the biscuits started to melt. Then, my friend was like, right we are finishing these now! And made us all take one, he said have half too me. So i did! I was completely worn down. So it was kindof a half giving in. I didnt have a whole 1 but i was peer pressured enough to let up a little bit. I had been made to feel so stupid and rude by him as all the others ate them and he kept on making me decline. Eventually i just had to give in.

I did feel a bit guilty afterwards, but i kept reminding myself that i could have had a whole 1 so i hadnt completely lost control. This shows i guess how i still fear losing control and will still refuse to eat normally. But i suppose i did take a tiny step yesterday, and i should be pleased about that. I was completely out of my comfort zone, but had no option but to just deal with it.

Sophie x

Super Models Body Shop Poster

Ok, so i know this poster is REALLY old, but i have never really properly understood what it meant and what message its trying to get across.

I suppose what their saying is dont aspire to be a supermodel (or perfect?) because there are so few and so many normal people. 

But why should we not aspire to be the best? I want to be a computer games programmer, i want to get the best job and be the highest up, should i not apply for this? Should i not try? I dont see whats wrong with trying to look good. I identified my biggest flaw (big legs)  and tried to change it. I see this as a good thing, i wanted to help myself. And i wanted to be perfect. But obviously i took it too far, way too far. I dont think the way to stop eating disorders (and other issues) is to say dont aim for perfection because you wont get there because there are too few people that do. I didnt think i would achieve perfection but i would get closer. Surely the more i looked like my (and to a large extent society's) idea of perfection the better.

Basically, to me this advert says, there are only 8 good looking people, you are not one of them, do not try to be. Just accept who you are even if your not happy with it. Go through life un happy in yourself because you can never be any different.

Hmmm... maybe i just have this all wrong. It is the Body Shop who i would expect their adverts to work and make sense but i just cant see a good message in it now, maybe i will later.

Sophie x

Changing Your Life

I found this video really quite useful. It talks about how to get over the obsicles that prevent you from changing your life. Basically, how to saty motivated to change. It goes through what the obsicles are and then some tools and methods to combat them. Most of it is fairly obvious but it is good to be reminded.

Obviously I, and many others have to switch what she says around from loosing weight to putting on weight! I havnt put this video on here to help me or other anorexics loose weight! So switch it around!

Just remember that you really can change your life. I am going to change mine, I have come along way and I will reach normality. I hope this video does help people to stay focused and achieve their goals.

Sophie x

Songs 4

Lady Gaga - Born This Way. While this song isnt directly about eating disorders, and there was probably no intention for it to apply, i believe it has relevence.

"There's nothin' wrong with lovin' who you are
She said, 'cause He made you perfect, babe
So hold your head up, girl and you you'll go far
Listen to me when I say

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, born this way"

Basically, your beautiful the way you are. (I dont believe in God but..) God made you with your body and he "makes no mistakes". We should not try and alter our natural body shapes that we are born with. I weas born with a pear shape body but i changed it to be boyish, and now i am told i am ugly.

I wish we could all be more proud of who we are and who we were. I hated myself so i changes, but i should have loved myself and then i would have been more confident and not in the mess i am now.

I have noticed there are significantly more pro ana songs than pro recovery. Not good.

Sophie x

Songs 2

This song - Waltz Moore by From First To Last, is another song relating to eating disorders. I have known about it for a long time and it was my favorite song a few years ago. I hesitated to put it up because im not sure if ifs very encouraging. It doesnt make eating disorders sound good, but it also doesnt really encourage recovery, it is more accepting.

It is a good song though in my opinion. Their then singer - Sonney Moore, had/has (not sure) Bulimia.

Enjoy.

Sophie x