Bad Day

Ugh another bad day.
Its my mums birthday today. We took a trip to Winchester where we went to a pub first. This was the first issue. I really fancied a coke, but my dad refused to let me get diet and there is noway im having the sugar version. I would have just had nothing but i was forced to have a j2o. My sister got a diet coke. I know right now that i sound really pathetic. I suppose i am.


Next we went for a bit of a walk. Then we went to Weatherspoons (a chain of pubs) where i wasnt allowed the noodles i wanted because they were too low in calories and i had to have something higher, i was forced to have another calorie drink. That was distressi9ng enough for someone stupid like me but then i was forced to also have some of my dads chips. I accepted some without complaining because i knew i would upset everyone if i did, but then he tried to put on 1 with mayo on it. They know i dont have sauces on things. I politely said oh no i dont want one with sauce on. He gets really angry and says that im really frustrating. So i have to eat all this food i dont want and listen to my dad go on and on about how i am ruining mums birthday and how stupid i am and how emaciated i look.


My sister tells me to go to the toilets with her. I love her. She listened to me talk about suicide and being unhappy and stressed. We both cried for a bit. I feel so bad for her. I make her life so miserable.


We sat basically in silence, apart from really small talk the whole meal.


Part of me feels really bad for ruining my mums birthday. The other half feels like i didnt ruin it, my dad did.


Sorry about the rant.


Sophie x